So you have actually scripted the "apology", me too . It is good that we can laugh about it because it won't ever happen the way we wrote it. Somehow they seem to justify their actons internally and don't see the need to beg for forgiveness. I don't understand it but I don't worry about it anymore either. Write it off to just being the way it is. She was and is dealing with the "loss" of the OM. Let that clear and she can then focus more on your feelings. We are all selfish by nature, especially with feelings. It is very hard to deal with others feelings when you can barely deal with your own. My W now makes comments almost weekly now regarding my superior attributes as a husband. That took time though. This last weekend we were at a pool party with some of her "pageant" friends which are either divorced, remarried or ready to become a WAW. I was the only H there, lucky me, not! It was like the Oprah show with all of the man and fellow contestant bashing going on. I just played "cabana boy", swam with the boys, and watched as these ladies proved to my W exactly why I am not very impressed with the pageant scene. I kept my mouth shut all afternoon as they ragged about their H until I told the "husband shopping" joke just before we left. See my thread for the joke, it is a good one. When we left my W told me what a "perfect" H her friends thought I was. She said "she couldn't agree more". As veterans here know, it wasn't that long ago that I would have thought hell would freeze solid before I would hear something like that.
From what I have heard and seen the vast majority of W go through some "state of confusion" in their 30's. How the H and W handle it dictates whether the M survives or not. Don't dwell or expect your scripted remorse and you two will be survivors as well. Your doing fine so far.
. It is good that we can laugh about it because it won't ever happen the way we wrote it. Somehow they seem to justify their actons internally and don't see the need to beg for forgiveness. I don't understand it but I don't worry about it anymore either. Write it off to just being the way it is. She was and is dealing with the "loss" of the OM. Let that clear and she can then focus more on your feelings. We are all selfish by nature, especially with feelings. It is very hard to deal with others feelings when you can barely deal with your own. My W now makes comments almost weekly now regarding my superior attributes as a husband. That took time though. This last weekend we were at a pool party with some of her "pageant" friends which are either divorced, remarried or ready to become a WAW. I was the only H there, lucky me, not! It was like the Oprah show with all of the man and fellow contestant bashing going on. I just played "cabana boy", swam with the boys, and watched as these ladies proved to my W exactly why I am not very impressed with the pageant scene. I kept my mouth shut all afternoon as they ragged about their H until I told the "husband shopping" joke just before we left. See my thread for the joke, it is a good one. When we left my W told me what a "perfect" H her friends thought I was. She said "she couldn't agree more". As veterans here know, it wasn't that long ago that I would have thought hell would freeze solid before I would hear something like that. 
