For the Guy with Kids and a WW 8

[hopeful4her]

I have not. I don't think I can bring myself to.

I was laying in bed watching tv with D11 when roomie and D6 got home. D's go off. I stay in bed watching tv. Roomie comes in the bedroom, grabs a box, goes into the bathroom and starts to pack her sh*t. Door wide open. I'm watching tv getting more and more pi**ed. She's just going about her business.

I finally get up. I WAS going to shower and get to bed. I go get D's to bed. I'm getting upset with them, because they are not listening.

It's not them, its me. I'm really upset.

Kisses goodnight.

I start to tidy up the kitchen. Start on dishes. Roomie throws a load of wash in the washer. She say, "I'll do those."
"Don't worry about it!" I quietly snap back.
When I finish, she is now in the bedroom cleaning out some of her drawers.

This bitch can't wait until tomorrow?

I grab some boxers, squeeze past her and take a shower. I come out and she is still there. I turn off the tv, take the pillows off the bed and pull down the comforter.
"Your going to bed?" she asks rather nicely.
"Yup." I say defiantly. I get into bed and get under the covers. Lights blaring. I close my eyes. She continues for a couple of more minutes and then is up and turns out the lights.

She give me a quiet "Goodnight".
She can go to hell. I'm not answering her. She's off to the living room.

This woman has ice in her veins.

I have been laying in bed crying for the past 20 minutes. I mean sobbing, but I refuse to let her hear me.

So I'm quiet. She is getting ready to watch a movie and her phone rings. S14 is ready to be picked up. She leaves and I gather myself.

And here I am. I was fighting back tears when I started to write. I'm better already. I'm not sure what tomorrow is going to bring. I don't even want to come back home tomorrow. I can just imagine what it is going to look like.

I think about you guys out there. All of you. I can't remember who doesn't have their spouse still at home. Okay, Lost does. I can't think of anyone else. kat, karen, jeff, sarah, suga..H4U is trying to work things out, still. lodo, nocodes, cbk...

I really thought that I was going to be different. My sitch. My wife was still at home. Still in the same bed.

But it's not different. It's the same as everyone elses. The same boat. I don't have much hope right now. The sadness is coming back.

Fighting it, but not very well.

Please God. Please give me strength. Please.