first of all, let me congratulate you on where you are. i have read back through your original thread and now this one. i think our wives may be long lost sisters. as i said before, your sitch sounds hauntingly similar to mine. i pray that one day i will be posting in this forum - but only time will tell.
feeling that our wives are similar - let me also congratulate you on how you handled the arguement the other night. my wife is so stubborn she will make her mind up on little things and just force herself to stick to it. if we had been in the same situation you were in the other night, i guarantee that my wife would have had her feelings hurt, would have just shut me out, turned away from me in bed, and decided that no matter how much she wanted to snuggle that i would have to give in and make the first move. i don't know if it is a petty test, anger, punishment, or what - but this kind of thing happens often. what you did was to take the high road. you wanted to sleep with her in your arms - even though your feelings were hurt and you were justifiably angry - and you did not play mental games - you just rolled over and snuggled. that is comendable. (sorry i can't spell) those kind of actions speak of your ability to be angry at someone and yet still recognize your love for them and that your present anger does not change how you truly feel about them. no everyone can do that. some people just shut themselves down and dwell on the anger and resentment. that kind of person is hard to live with and even harder to convince that you love them unconditionally. wonder if that has been an issue for your W. does she truly feel deep within without any doubt that you love her. problem is, that is something that words can't convince her of. she needs time and actions if that is one of the issues. this has been a problem for me in my M. sound familiar?
as for the being sorry thing. if your W is as much like mine (and i think she is) she will hold on to that resentment of your part in this for a long time because in some odd way she uses it to keep herself from being overcome with the guilt of what she has done (the A - that is). i don't think my wife will ever truly realize the impact of her A on me and this M until she lets go of her anger at me. then she will no longer be able to tell herself that she was "driven" to this point by my actions, and therefore duck the full responsibility for what she did. sounds as if things are all in all moving along nicely for you guys. you are doing great. i bet the W will one day, out of the blue, get really upset and apologize in a deeply heart-felt way when all of this crapp really comes down on her in a moment when she is without the tonic of anger to ease its reality.
i greatly appreciate your posts to my thread. i will keep up with yours and try to offer you the vantage point of where you have been (because all things tend to dull in time and you may become less aware of how much progress you really have made).
