Things have been going quite well for us in general. Have been slowly coming down from the Vegas "high", and things have mostly continued from there, notwithstanding a nasty little bump in the road last night. The week went well, we had a nice 4th with a block party. She got called off from work on the 5th, so we got to spend a nice day together, mostly out by the pool, and it culminated in my giving her a long massage (I learned a few new tricks having gotten a massage from a professional in Vegas). I was richly rewarded for that!
However, last night she came home from work about half an hour late, which started up some stress for me, since I know that she used to regularly talk to the OG during her long commutes to and from work. I probably shouldn't let it get to me anymore, but it does. Then I got into an argument with my 14yo stepD, and my W stayed out of it instead of taking my side, which only encouraged my stepD, and pissed me off. So then I decided to check her cellphone (her "regular" one, not the secret one which is now gone), which I haven't done in weeks. She had put a passcode on it so that I couldn't check it. Feeling entitled, I asked her why she had the code and if I could have it. She said that she had put the code on a long time ago (probably when she got the other phone), and grudgingly gave it to me. Turns out the code is a combination of her age and the OG's age, which of course pissed me off even more. I asked her whether she is still talking to him. She said no, that it was completely over, and that I should know that by how good things have been lately between us. I accused her of keeping the memory of the A alive with these little remnants, like the passcode. She said that the code has just gotten easy for her to remember, that's all, and that she would change it. I told her that I still struggle sometimes with the fact of the A, she said that she knows and that she understood. In the end, we hugged and kissed, and said ILY to each other.
So I guess the evening ended OK, but I'm still annoyed with her. I do believe that she's not seeing or talking to him, but I also don't think that still having the old passcode is simply an oversight. I think she hangs onto these little reminders and resists totally letting go. On the one hand, if ever I bring up the subject of the A, she says that she doesn't want to think or talk about it anymore, and that it's completely over, but on the other hand she keeps these little reminders for herself. It's totally aggravating.
It's just a bump in what has become a smoother road, so I'll keep it in perspective. But it's a reminder that all will not be smooth sailing from here.
