Originally Posted By: phoenyx
divorce is great for kids. just ask mine whome are probably pretty close to seeing their mom go through another one and just saw their dad watch his mom die over two months with no companionship or emotional support at all. not crying about it, just stating the facts. as much as i'd hate to agree with "big brother" up in here, news flash: divorce sucks for your children. unless there are extreme circumstances, the fact is they don't get over it. and that can be looked up in studies. they can be happy, yes. and life isn't hopeless for them, it's not all doom and gloom. but call a spade a spade, it isn't good for children. wake up, quit sugar coating crap. it's getting old. sure we were left behind, but we need to make up to our children for our part in that divorce. the first step in that is to recognize that this is more than just "not an ideal situation". it's good to find the positives in your life, we all have to. and i know that my kids will be fine. i had a wonderful woman that they both loved, who unfortunately wasn't over her own issues and it didn't work out. however, even if it would have, would my two boys have been better off than if xw and i never gotten a D? no



This is exactly my point.


EVEN WHEN WE HAVE NO OTHER OPTION, EVEN WHEN DIVORCE IS THE LESSER OF THE TWO EVILS.....THE KIDS SUFFER.


And you said it BEST:


"don't sugar coat it"



and that's what I felt....was being done.


That said.....like many situations.....we have a bias when we write, we have a bias when we read. And when I read the post that sparked MY post......that's what I read...........when I THINK THE POINT of that post.........was to give the topic owner hope and healing.

To which I think MY POST made that first person feel like I was ripping out that intention.

Yet....I THINK .... we've done a good job of eventually getting to the point of what is in our hearts......Wanting good relationships, wanting good families, wanting the best for our kids........and struggling to get there the best way we can.



*****

Bill is right though....the point of THIS thread is to help each other find ways to learn from each other, make the best of it....

find as many SOLUTIONS as we can.



Which.....true to your collective nature...


you are doing an AMAZING JOB of.

Last edited by sgctxok; 08/01/08 03:56 AM.
sg
Love is PATIENT, love is KIND, LOVE never fails / DB since 2001