Hey, Kimmie, I haven't seen you in ages!!! So good to see you!!! I just started coming to this forum b/c so many of us seem to be here, and I will be too soon--in the middle of a divorce.
Quote:
I have not even been back to my C because she is now counseling H and his OW to help them be successful in their new relationship. Nice, huh? They are engaged and H is still married to me.
OK, that is so messed up; that they are undergoing counseling when your H is married! And the fact that they need or think they need counseling already--yeah, I'm sure they'll be together for many years--not! And what kind of C would take a married man and his girlfriend to help them out???? I say no big loss; that C sounds a little wacky to me anyway!!!
Quote:
When is this A going to burn out? When will there be trouble in paradise?
It will, well 90% of them do so chances are good that they won't be together for much longer. I've always heard 6 months to 2 years is average. They don't have very good odds, and then they say out of the few that marry, they have very high rates of divorce also. I've thought for a while now you know the only people that get involved with a married man or woman are probably dysfunctional, and most of our WAS are dysfunctional (sometimes lately I think my H is crazy). So put together 2 dysfunctional people and eventually it'll crumble apart I think...
Quote:
I now think that DB is wrong about not pursuing. I think I should have asked H "Why?", I should have done SOME pursuing. Now, I can't. And I believe that there is such a thing as too much space. It really does make your H believe that everything is OK and they have nothing to feel guilty about. It simply reinforces their idea that they made the right decision in walking away.
Well, I did enough pursuing in my sitch the first month or 2 to make up for both of us! And it didn't work! Things just got worse-he was running away as I was chasing after him like DR says will happen. I also do think that your H realizes that everything is not OK and they prob. do feel guilt although I think most or all try really hard to avoid thinking about that! My H for the first time expressed remorse a couple weeks ago, came to me really upset and apologized for messing up my life. So I think sometimes they often don't express that, I mean is probably hard for them to admit they screwed up. I think sometimes they emerge from the fog or their As break up, and they maybe they look at us at that point and sometimes they don't. I have really worked on Dbing for myself lately, and I am a stronger, more confident, happier person. My H may appreciate that someday, but if he doesn't I do think I will find someone that does, as we all hopefully will... Karen
