My W too is the one more prone to hold onto old resentments, old grudges. It's one of her worst qualities, actually (well, other than the whole cheating on her husband thing). I will forgive, I have no doubt about that. I'm just not quite there yet. It sure would be easier if my W expressed true gut-wrenching sorrow about it.
Some would say that forgiveness is not appropriate or even possible unless the person being forgiven is sorry. I heard a rabbi say that once (no, I'm not Jewish). I have some sympathy for that way of thinking, but ultimately, I think I agree more with the "forgiveness is a gift you give yourself" thinking, which says that the act can be separated from whether or not the person being forgiven is penitent.
Well, I leave on a 2 1/2 day trip to Vegas with my W tomorrow. She said earlier today that she's really looking forward to it. Probably not as much as I am, but it was nice to hear her say that anyway. It'll be our 1st trip alone since the birth of our 7yo son. Hard to believe I've not made sure to make important stuff like this happen in the past 7 years. One of my many failings. Anyway, we aren't much for gambling (we'll do a little, but I guess I fear the prospect of losing more than I get excited by the prospect of winning), so instead we'll see a show, get massages, and just be together. It's hard for me not to think of this as a sort of 2nd honeymoon (what with my W just cutting contact with the OG less than a week ago), but I'm trying not to let my expectations get too high. I just wish the trip could be longer.
