It's not really about you. Your H needs to justify his decisions and these circumstances. He'll exaggerate every little thing thta bothers him so that it's a big deal in order to give him the excuse he needs to behave like he is.
Detachment is the key. Detachment is the hardest part of this whole process, particularly when you've been a team for a long time. You need to get to the point where you can see what he does and hear what he says - but not let it touch you.
Have you read DB? If not do so. If you have, review the stuff about detachment.
V
Never make someone a priority, who makes you an option.
