Recommitment issues, post affair

[sage]

brian -- Sounds like you guys are doing stuff "that works". The social and physical connection that h. and I have has been instrumental in us rebuilding our m. Seems like a similar sitch for you...good stuff.

But while good Brian wants to forgive and move on, evil Brian wants to keep that arrow handy in the quiver, to pull out and use in some future argument. Anyway, it's something I'll continue to think about.
Brian

So...I think it's good that you're thinking about this and appreciating the duality of the way that you feel. I think I've been cramming forgiveness down my own throat (and there are certainly folks who wonder how they ever can and are adamant that they can't) which has actually led to me sabotaging my own sitch. In other words, I think I was convincing myself that either I had forgiven totally or that I ought to have by now or .... and because I hadn't allowed myself the space to contemplate it all honestly, well, I find myself acting out instead of being upfront with myself that it's a continuous decision to forgive, etc.

Not sure that made ANY sense.

Sage