I hope this is what "peeking" looks like!

[Lissie]

Hiya E.

I think you did great my self.

You weren't acting. You were being you.

YOu have done wonderful things with the yard, the road trip, the bbq.

That is wonderful and you are doing it on your own.

I think maybe you didn't get many responses b/c you are doing good.

I would say let him come to you next time.


I wouldn't want to share that fish either. heehee.

Have a great BBQ!

Keep up the great work.

[lodo]

Hi E,

Haven't dropped by for awhile.

I think you're handling things great! But it still seems like you're really focused on him and fixing things with him. That's the big unknown and the battle is within his mind, so why not concentrate more on yourself and doing things that make you feel good?!

If I were you, I'd let him approach you next. If he does, then you should feel free to reciprocate, but don't always be the one to take the initiative.

lodo

[new_attitude]

Hi e!
I haven't been around, so I couldn't respond. I don't usually get on the boards over the weekends. I know what you mean about feeling like you're not getting a lot of replies!

And thanks for posting on my thread! I really appreciate it.

I heard the same "tone" that I was so used to when I had to walk on eggshells around him and I decided I didn't want to listen to him be "short" so I didn't return the call.

That was 5 days ago. I called him yesterday because I wanted to...

It's great that you waited to call him! You don't have to put up with his "moods."

I told him to stop by for a coffee and he said it wouldn't be today.

Try not to invite him to do anything, even something small like a coffee. You don't want to scare him away with such a huge commitment!

Good job on planning the get-together. I also freak out about having people over, so I know that it must be a huge change for you to plan a get-together on your own. Have a great time!

I have a question?

Do I let him come to me?

Yep. Keep living your life. Enjoy the picnic and he'll get curious and hopefully wonder what he's missing out on..

What next?

Who knows? None of us- I wish I did!

Hang in there. You sound good!

[enlightenbylife]

Hi Lissie, thanks for posting.

It has been a really busy week and I've been concentrating on what to do abo9ut my work situation.

I have been milling about with some ideas and since i have until the end of August with this job, I'm putting some ideas together.

Anyway, I'm really tring to do things as if he is never coming back.

The only thing that bothers me about this is how do I behave as if he is never coming home without making him feel left behind?

E

[enlightenbylife]

Hi lodo,

Thanks for dropping by, good to hear from you.

I'm really trying to focus on myself and it really is alot more fun!

I will not do the pursuing until he makes the next move.

I guess wait and see is the order of the day.

E

[enlightenbylife]

Hi NA

Thanks for the post.

Thanks for the good info.
I will follow your suggestions and your lead.

It is getting easier to GAL.

Wednesday will be my birthday and as occasions go, I have always made birthdays special.

I wonder if H will do anything?
Last year at this time , because he had confirmed my suspisions on July 28, he threw me a B party. He was racked with guilt and threw me a party.

I cried alot. It was weird. His whole family showed and they all knew what had transpired. It was supportive and ......weird.

They still visit here and we keep in touch.

I will not expect anything.
On August 6 I will be 46.
Last year I felt more like 106.
This year I feel like ummmm 36 !

E

[new_attitude]

The only thing that bothers me about this is how do I behave as if he is never coming home without making him feel left behind?

Don't worry about how he feels about it. You can't "make" anyone feel anything anyway.

You sound good. Keep it up!

[Lissie]

The only thing that bothers me about this is how do I behave as if he is never coming home without making him feel left behind?

Oh, I don't think you should be asking me this.

Um


I came to a point where It really didn't matter to me if he felt left behind or not. sigh.

I am sorry, I myself was not good at dbing for ME and keeping the door open.

I tried, But it was very hard for me.

I needed to just be done.

BUT

In the back of my mind I said well if you do come back one day, we will see where I am at.


I was not good at Acting as if, I was just as if.

Don't worry to much about all of that right now, you are doing things for you, and working on yourself, and that is a very important stepping stone for if you were to have an R with him again in the future

Have a great weekend.

[enlightenbylife]

Thanks for the posts NA and Lissie,

Well did another 180 today.

My birthday is this wednesday the 6th and I went out today and bought a bike!

I'm very excited and can't wait to get used to it. You see i haven't riden a bike in about ummm 20 years or so

I have wanted one for a while but with my back problems and H never wanted one I just put it on the back shelf.

Well I researched and asked questions of people that do a lot of riding and since bikes have come a long way... I went for it

I got a really good sale and now after I cook dinner today I'm heading out.

E

[new_attitude]

Good for you for getting a bike! H bought me one a few years ago and I hardly ever use it. Maybe you can motivate me to get started again?