I am not suggesting you try the "shape up or ship out" confrontation, as just a "tactic". You should only do that, if you really mean it. If you really mean that if he says no, you're outta there.
Firstly, because I think saying it when you dont mean it, is ... well, wrong, for want of a more precise word.
Additionally, because it is said that "they" can tell when you dont mean it, so it would be worse than a wasted effort. damages your credibility if you arent prepared to follow through.
Hope you make the best choice for you, Trix.
catch ya later...
My current status: june 2006. Wife ran out and filed D. Finalized Jan 11, 2010, after 12.5 years M. 3 wonderful sons caught in the middle