Tonight the three kids and I had a sit down dinner, something that is very rare considering the ages and activities of the kids. I find I'm not as talkative at the table... like I'm out of synch or don't speak in the cadences they do. One on one I'm fine, in a group I go quiet (though it wasn't always this way with the kids). The boys (22 and 18) were being a little crude, but with a polite word, they cleaned up their act.
Afterwards we had ice cream cake using a bendable lighter to light the candles. The boys were playing with it, lighting it, making jokes. I felt like Marge Simpson Grrrr-ing torn between letting them burn themselves if they were that silly and wanting some order. Overall, I felt like a wet blanket.
Whenever we're all together I think of what we're (or perhaps just I'm) missing rather than what we/I have. I have to get that thought out of my head. Recently my mind will wander to how could spouse have done this.. so completely leave, so quickly??
I know I get stuck when I think like that. I'm really nervous about our dwindling savings. I couldn't have spent all that money. I have to go back and check the bank and credit card bills. Thank goodness for Quicken and online accounts.
FYI.. do you know you can get copies of your receipts from the credit companies going from 6 months to 9 months back? So many times the lawyers tell you to document everything and keep the receipts. Just call them up, and talk to "Disputes". Say you aren't disputing the charges, you just need copies of the receipts. Yee Haw.. that helps me!
ARRRGGGHHHHH... sending blessings not camels to spouse
