You're right...H has voiced many times a 'power' he feels I have over him. I do need to concentrate on my instinct to control. I'm a teacher too...and you know how 'organized' and 'by the bell' teachers are!
Backing off...letting go....That's the (perhaps only subtle) 180 for me yesterday.
I just said 'have a good time...I can use a break'...and let H and kids go about their day.
I think you're also right about H thinking I'm controlling and thus, he rebells.
It seems the rebelling gives H a sense of power that he needs. It seems he is on the edge of his chair waiting for anything to come out of my mouth that he can debate against or deny.
Yet, when I am nice and agreeable....H feels like crap for huritng me.
Sometimes, it feels I can't win.
Sophie
~~ Me-50 H-38 Married 15 years 8/7/08 D8 S10 S13 H affair 11/04-7/04 maybe longer H moved out 4/06
7/30/08- present: Reconnecting w/kids,friendly 10/30/08 H signed D papers 11/10/08 D papers filed 11/13/08 D papers served at home
