I'm so sorry to see you hurt this way. But he has been stringing you along all the time. He is lying - you know that. And he may very well marry OW. At this point - it won't change your situation that much, although, I have to say that at the 4 year mark when that happened to me - it still hurt and was upsetting.
Don't tell him to leave your son alone. He needs to see him and to support him. Regardless of all the stupid, inconsiderate things he has done, he is still your son's father and nothing will change that.
You are angry and unfortunately reactive. You said things you might regret later. Try to think things through in a business-like manner if you can. I think your H showed you his true colours and while you had your rainbow glasses on - you couldn't see that.
Do what you have to do at this point. you don't need to file. You can stay this way forever. But - I have to say that once I got divorced I started to live again. (don't equate "live" with new R) There are many ways in which you grow, change and start to live again with or without someone new.
I think you were reaching this point any way and this was the straw that broke the camel's back so to speak. Nothing has changed on his part. Only your expectation had changed because of what your "informant" had told you. I still think the informant's info hurts and doesn't help you move on.
But keep posting to let us know how it is going. I wish the best for you and hope you can be really strong right now.
