I would go. I would look confident. I would look happy. I would look in control.
I would not let myself be alone with xH, figuring that he can't treat you terribly when the kids see it (I could be wrong there).
I think you need to rethink your resentment of the kids. I would have to think that the time leading up to and through the D was very confusing for them. They only knew the part of the story they could see, and it probably made no sense at all to them. It really wasn't their job to "be there for you", any more than it was their job to "be there" for you xH. From their standpoint, I would have to think they really didn't want to "take sides". He is their father, you are their mother. They didn't want to be in the middle of that conflict, they wanted to run away from it! I would not be surprised if he lied to them, probably still does. But, it is really hard to not believe your father, you WANT to believe him.
I really think it would serve you well to work on where you are going, rather than dwelling on where you have been.
