One of the things I'm having difficulty w/ in thinking about dating is my D. When we were going to meet W the other day, I told her I was coming up to Seattle and wouldn't be seeing her for a few days.
Her reply was: "DO NOT GO ON A DATE! If you go on a date, that means you'll get married." She then said the only person I was allowed to marry was "Mommy" and the same rules applied for "Mommy" too.
This is why I wish W would just be able to look at the devastation she's caused. W a long time ago said to me "You ruined our little family" and I didn't respond at the time, but now that I look back at it, it was her that ruined us. I went for help and worked on my issues from the start. What did she do? Avoided counseling. Went to counseling strictly to discuss divorcing me. Stepped outside of the marriage and had an affair instead of staying in and fighting. Served me w/ papers and took my D away. Made up lies and accusations about me and my behavior. Controlled the time I can and can't spend w/ my D. Used repayment of money owed to me as a tool of control. Pumps our D for information after every visit. Accuses, blames and berates me at every opportunity.
Now, who exactly "ruined our little family" here? Why is it so obvious to everyone except for the one directly involved? Denial, I guess is the only reason I can think of. Oh, well. At least now I know I did my part and I can prove to D in time that I tried as hard as I could for as long as I could.
