Shelby - I am so glad you never faked it. That would have led to a much bigger problem in the long run. GOOD FOR YOU!!!
I personally have never faked one in my life, as I never saw the point in being dishonest about something so intimate. And there were plenty of times when it would have been so easy to just get past that moment when he is staring at you, expecting it to happen, pressuring you for it...to just have pretended to do it and then he would be "happy". But....instead I had to be very brave and say "sorry hon, it just doesn't seem like I'm going to make it this time, can we try again later?" And in saying this, I may have disappointed him, but at least he respected my honesty.
Lucky for me, that is all in my past now....I finally learned my own body well enough, got past my emotional hang ups, and also, I finally have a partner who just really REALLY turns me on and knows what he is doing.
I have always had no trouble having O's by myself. It was only when someone was "watching me" (ie: that's how it felt to me) that I would have trouble, feel pressured, get insecure, etc.
It took me a long time to work all this out - - I am 41 years old now. And I have found that time really has been my friend in this. Once I took all the pressure off of myself and allowed myself to forget about it for as long as it took until I didn't feel pressure any more....ahhh....it was like a huge relief and mentally, I finally got over all the "stuff" involved.
