Mulesqb - Still alive and Kickin'

[mulesqb]

Journal - Last night I met her at S10 camp for the BBQ. She was ok but when she left she said to me - see - I try to do a nice family thing and see what happens! I had no idea what she was talking about so I asked - she said that before I got there S10 and S7 were acting up. I said ok - but they can't be perfect all the time and that once they calmed down it was very nice. She took S7 to the doctor for a physical. When I left the BBQ S14 and S10 asked to go get an ice cream. I agreed but told them I didn't want to leave anyone out. I called my W and she really wanted to come. I was thrilled and told her we would wait for her. We had a very nice time.

I dropped my S14 at my brother's last night. He is going to Buffalo with him for the weekend to play in a baseball tournament. When I got home, my W was already in the basement - so I just went up to bed and didn't disturb her. She came up to bed about 1am and asked me if everything was ok with him and me - I said yes and she said ok and went to bed.

This morning she got up and was emotional. She asked me if S14 was ok. I said yes. She said she is really going to miss him the next 4 days. I was thrilled to hear her say that - as you all know she has been clashing with him non stop. She said she knows she is at odds with him but she is really going to miss him. I said that's a good thing. She then came over to me and told me that she is going to miss Duncan today as she has to work a full day. Again - she had tears in her eye.

The kicker was that she asked me how I am going to dress for my parent's 50th anniversary party. It is in 3 weeks. This has been a source of distress for her. She is angry at my family right now and feels they should be calling her to check on her and they haven't. Because of that, she said she wasn't going to the party. But her parents and aunt RSVP'd back that they were going, so she was pissed. Yesterday when she told me that we need to separate, she started the conversation by telling me she wasn't going. Now exactly 24 hours later she is asking me how to dress for it. She was extremely nice to me this morning and also just called me from work to tell me she went home for lunch and walked Duncan.

I guess she is cycling again, who knows, maybe she called a L and is working on separating and liked what she heard. I don't know, I really don't think that - I feel like I'm seeing some good signs. I really feel like it started yesterday when I told her that I loved her. Hopefully she'll give me another opportunity to say it - but I won't push. When I said it yesterday, I really liked the reaction on her face - it was very different than the last time. Or maybe I am just reading too much into it. Anyway - she is supposed to meet us for dinner tonite after my S10 baseball game so we'll see how that goes.