Really upside down #2

[TwinDad]

UD,

A couple other points......

You seem to want to get your W to open up. Honestly I wouldn't try to get to this goal....I would be willing to bet you two have discussed things more than either one of you would like to at this point. A more effective goal would be to create an atmosphere where your W feels comfortable to "hang-out" with you and let the actions speak for themeselves. In my sitch, we have been back together for a couple months and there has yet to be an "opening-up" conversation where everything gets hashed out....instead we are showing ti through our actions and that is just fine with me. She doesn't want to talk about this.....she wants to see actions.

I appreciate your zeal for your R and coming off self righteous because you are fighting the "good-fight". Realize as a WAW she probably feels she has fought as much as she can without you even knowing it, she valued your M when she thought you didn't.....she has already fought....you are just starting. If you understand that you may get more respect for her decision. I personally feel being separated for a short period of time was probably one of the better things that has happened in my R.

I understand the respect part of feeling like she responds to correspondence at her leisure and you can't play by that rule. The truth is, as silly as it sounds your W doesn't respect and trust you. At some point you turned into an insecure person snoopiing on her and looking for OM in the closet. When you can show her through actions that you are changing then you will start to slowly gain her respect again and then she will show that through actions by responding to you in a timely manner.

I have noticed in your threads that your bitterness seems to be subsiding a bit which is good...it will make it easier for you to be a good friend and make the chnages you need to make.

You are steadily improving and I can almost guarantee that your W is noticing