Leap of Faith on the Lake Erie Shore

[Bridgestone]

Hi Neil,
It sounds like your doing well taking baby steps, but having a few rough days here.

Can I help?
Peace
Bridge

[Neilh23]

Bridge-
yeah it's been a wax and wane type couple of days. If you get a chance, please look over this thread and the end of the last one.

Thanks. I appreciate your offer!!!!

[Bridgestone]

I have... can you give me specifics? A question or situation, something to focus me, think of me as your ADHD student with an IEP

[ndsmhelp]

Hey Neil
Just wanted to stop in and say hello to everyone. Seems like I have been here and looking, but just have not had much to say. Getting caught up on everyone, and then heading over to my new thread to update a little. Not really much to report, feeling pretty good the last couple of days.

Having my wife at home makes it more difficult to relate to those that do not, so as far as advice....I am not there yet, except to say stop over on my thread and vent any time, or ask me questions if you think I can help.

Check out some of my threads with posts from Forrest and Bworl. Those guys are awesome. It took a while for them to get through to me, but it may actually be sinking in.

....and you know we all have good days and bad days..I am feeling great this morning, but I may be sitting here at work in 3 hours with my hand on the phone ready to send my wife a text...because I have not heard from her yet.

Hang in there buddy, I still say you are doing great and "sound" good....and man you are all over the board. That says a lot about you...checking in on everyone and keeping up with other's stiches.

Take care
NDS

[The Wifey]

Vent away, Neil! The most important thing is to smile. Maybe interrupt the upset, angry, resentful, etc and leave the house to do something. The less time you spend in that state the easier it is to have the PMA when she is there. For me, just sitting in the house alone is poison.

I don't like poison.

[Neilh23]

I have... can you give me specifics? A question or situation, something to focus me, think of me as your ADHD student with an IEP

oh good grief. LOL

no, there's really nothing specific. i've actually worked alot out on my own. all i was looking for is whether i'm on the right track here with my interactions with my W. right now, i know it's just the friend thing.....

thanks...when you get a few minutes, that's all...

[Neilh23]

Check out some of my threads with posts from Forrest and Bworl. Those guys are awesome. It took a while for them to get through to me, but it may actually be sinking in.

LOL...FG posted to me on my first thread....it took awhile for him to sink in to me.....i think once i saw the advice working...LOL....and i have seen the advice on your thread from them.

what matters is not that we slide, but how we pull ourselves out of it....and how long..and how it effects our interactions with our W's... keep that in mind

[upside_downer]

Neil-

Have you thought of the possibility that your W wants the kids and wants to play supermom because she, too, is afraid of herself and the bad thoughts, etc that come when she is alone. The kids are a distraction. That could be good because it shows she still cares about the R somewhat enough to have distraught feelings about what is currently happening. Turn the bad into good.

NDS.....don't text. You don't need to know what she is doing. Who cares? So what if she hasn't contacted you? You have your own things to do!!!!

[1hope]

[quote=Bridgestone]I have... can you give me specifics? A question or situation, something to focus me, think of me as your ADHD student with an IEP

OMG! Are you ALL teachers? lol....as a mom that had 2 ADD sons (now happy, healthy, productive adults), I sat through years of IEP's. Our school system was great and the teachers wonderful. I actually felt sorry for the "normal" kids that didn't qualify for the special services and assistance that my sons did.

[Neilh23]

Neil-

Have you thought of the possibility that your W wants the kids and wants to play supermom because she, too, is afraid of herself and the bad thoughts, etc that come when she is alone. The kids are a distraction. That could be good because it shows she still cares about the R somewhat enough to have distraught feelings about what is currently happening. Turn the bad into good.

never thought of it that way. Maybe. Maybe not. She's a WAW....

having a little trouble with my PMA... i have the last 4 episode of "House" dvr'd...been meaning to watch them..asked my W if she wanted to come over and watch them.....she gave me this look...and i said what? she's like it's weird...i said...why is it weird, i was going to watch them anyways...she said i know, it's just weird....and you're being nice.

she didn't say no.

backslide? no...because i really am going to watch them this weekend. Yes, because i'm disappointed she didn't say she would come over. that's my bad. GALing shortly....