losing sunshine but gaining happiness either way

[LosingSunshine]

Hey Jandn...I hear you. Now, I do think OW (regardless if just friends, EA or PA) is being very influential. She left last night after our talk to go out (to see her) to think. Why does she need to run this stuff by her? She has only known her for 3 months? Why not call her best friend from back home? Crazy. But it is type of stuff that makes me want to just move on coupled with the fact that she has done zero research into what the D process is like in SD, what child custody options are etc...and then she chooses to selectively listen. I am pretty well detached right now and focused on happy. It's easier to walk away at this point but there is still enough there to keep me from doing it.

Some other thoughts from yesterday.

After she said last night that if we battle this the past will come out, I did some thinking about the past.

We both drank excessively while we dated and up until 4D was born. She says she stopped but it's more like she moderated it and I did too, while we were still up in MN. In late 2005, we moved to SD, she stayed at home for close to a year (she was pregnant with 2S when we moved and went back to work 6 months after he was born). She drank, I drank more often. On weekends, she didn't really drink when we went out with friends but I did. Also, we never really had the talk of parenting responsibilities during any of this. She did a majority when she was a SAH mom and continued trying to do everything after she went back to work. A lot of that was due to things at my work heating up and me having to work more hours etc...But her view of the past 4 years is nothing but negative when she starts getting emotional (like last night) but is rather neutral to positive when things are okay (like Monday and Tuesday). My L told me not to worry about the drinking as I was not abusive and have no criminal record (DUIs etc...). I do have a drunk in public charge but it's over 10 years old and was before I met here. But the fact is, she wanted to drink too and since the sitch began, she has been. Ugh!!!

Chris