Thank you for responding. This, I wanted to tell you last night, but it got too late. No sooner did I post that H wasn't home last night, and I was on the computer at this Web site, when I heard the key in the lock. It was 10:50 p.m. H used to be asleep by this time every night for the duration of our marriage.
In fact, he was in bed by dark, sometimes as early as 7 p.m. but mostly by 8 p.m. every night. So, coming home in his work clothes was extremely unusual.
Anyway, I was surprised and immediately got off the computer and wiped out the history just in time, before he stepped into the computer room. I jumped up and faced him and said, 'in a neutral tone, bear, "You're home." No positives, no negatives. He was ... um distressed, using his whiney voice said, "Yes, but I'm not staying because you're here. Why can't you at least tell me when you're going to be here so I can know whether to be here to feed "Buddy?"
Me: You told me you wanted to leave you alone? H: I have laundry that I wanted to do and everything. Me: There is some clean laundry for you on the fireplace. (That's where he likes me to leave it). H: Are you coming home every night now? Me: Whenever I want to. H: Do you still have your job? Me: Yes. H: Where, are you still at the same place or are you working somewhere else? Me: Same place (He's told me in the past that he will serve me at the apt. or at work. I can only conjecture that he's getting ready to serve me and it will be at work.) H: I'll come back and get it in the minute. He leaves and goes outside, probably to make a phone call. Me: I'm extremely tired and go to bed. H: Comes back in a few minutes later. I can hear him puttering around in the kitchen. Then he comes into the bedroom. H: "Hiding again, you can't even tell me/talk to me." (not sure what exactly was said here). Me: It's late. H: I know. Me: I'm tired. I was going to bed. H: You're not even going to turn the lights off. Me: I was going to let you do that since you're still here. H: Fine. He goes out and comes back into the house again with his dirty clothes. As he was leaving, he was on the phone AGAIN. I was very calm throughout the whole exchange. When he was in the bedroom talking to me, he was walking away from me rubbing his head. He does that sometimes. Not sure why and it doesn't really matter, I guess.
Bear, yes, he's told me that he's miserable. But, he always adds that he'll be "...happy when this is all over 'you'll see'".
End of story. It's really over. No hope here. Any comments?
