H4H, how about K4H? and that would solve the whole confusion part of your name (I think there should be no hopes or H's allowed anymore on this board). I know, I know you were the first here! Ok, the OM is seriously messed up--I'm sure your W has a lot of great qualities that you haven't mentioned, but still!!! I guess maybe it is a fantasy for these people that they don't see the flaws or something? I mean I wouldn't want to get involved with me (with the $$$ problems) tho the kids are actually cute & sweet. I don't get the OPs except I think they are mostly crazy people. Of course, I stay away from the OMs (not the crazy people obviously). Karen
H4H, how about K4H? and that would solve the whole confusion part of your name (I think there should be no hopes or H's allowed anymore on this board). I know, I know you were the first here!
Hey, don't make Hope4us mad. He was here before me. THEN me.
Yes, she has an amazing amount of qualities, karen. But I'm trying to DETACH, remember?
Me 47, WW 38 SS18, D15, D10
Good Bye Girl. No longer SAYING she's moving out. GBG moved out 8-1-08
"I have now decided to enjoy life instead of figure it out."
Yay, I got the D paperwork done (for the most part). I'm intentionally going to print out the credit card stuff tomorrow so I don't get upset right before bed. Then make copies of everything tomorrow at the library, and I'm done with this part anyway.
I felt so weird today kind of knocking myself out to get the D paperwork done when I'm not even the one that wants the D; still feel not very happy about this. I don't think our marriage is irretrievably broken as they call it here--I mean if H gave up the OW and started to appreciate me...but then I guess the chances of that happening are like they say your chances of getting struck by lightning or winning the lottery or something??? Karen
I feel the very same way as you. I found the mediator, contacted her, make all the appts, find a sitter, and so far have done all the paperwork (H 'lost' his so we couldn't file yesterday). And funny that, I don't want a divorce.
But, we need to remember something. We can't live like this. I totally stole this off the Separated Forum, but love love love it:
**** We must all try to regain our dignity and get on with our lives. Don't beg for a person to come back who doesn't want to be with you. You deserve better. You don't deserve second best. You don't deserve the unhappiness that a less-than-great marriage will give you. You deserve someone who is faithful, who treats you well, who is kind and considerate and makes you feel good about yourself. To stay with a person who constantly feels that something is wrong with you and who isn't nice to you is no way to live. ****
I felt so weird today kind of knocking myself out to get the D paperwork done when I'm not even the one that wants the D; still feel not very happy about this. I don't think our marriage is irretrievably broken as they call it here--I mean if H gave up the OW and started to appreciate me...but then I guess the chances of that happening are like they say your chances of getting struck by lightning or winning the lottery or something??? Karen
Your so cute, karen.
I'm so sorry your having to go through this crap. Hey! Maybe I need to drag roomie to church so that she CAN get struck by lightning.
Might change our odds at reconciling
Last edited by hopeful4her; 07/31/0803:53 AM.
Me 47, WW 38 SS18, D15, D10
Good Bye Girl. No longer SAYING she's moving out. GBG moved out 8-1-08
"I have now decided to enjoy life instead of figure it out."
We must all try to regain our dignity and get on with our lives. Don't beg for a person to come back who doesn't want to be with you. You deserve better. You don't deserve second best. You don't deserve the unhappiness that a less-than-great marriage will give you. You deserve someone who is faithful, who treats you well, who is kind and considerate and makes you feel good about yourself. To stay with a person who constantly feels that something is wrong with you and who isn't nice to you is no way to live.
Now those are words to live by, lwb.
Now, if I could just get it through my thick skull.
But like karen, I'm getting better at it.
Me 47, WW 38 SS18, D15, D10
Good Bye Girl. No longer SAYING she's moving out. GBG moved out 8-1-08
"I have now decided to enjoy life instead of figure it out."
H4H-I wouldn't bother. My H has gone lots of times this last year and hasn't gotten struck yet--so don't think that works! LWB, thanks so much for sharing that! I don't remember seeing that before--so true and something we should all have and I hope we will....someday!
I forgot who he posted it to, kat maybe, but I think lodo pasted a link to a site of a woman that said basically the same thing.
I remember thinking that it was a little depressing at the time. Something we don't like to think about. That the WAS won't be coming back and we have to accept that.
Originally Posted By: karen
H4H-I wouldn't bother. My H has gone lots of times this last year and hasn't gotten struck yet--so don't think that works!
I can hope, can't I?
Me 47, WW 38 SS18, D15, D10
Good Bye Girl. No longer SAYING she's moving out. GBG moved out 8-1-08
"I have now decided to enjoy life instead of figure it out."
I know, I know you were the first here! Ok, the OM is seriously messed up--I'm sure your W has a lot of great qualities that you haven't mentioned, but still!!! I guess maybe it is a fantasy for these people that they don't see the flaws or something? I mean I wouldn't want to get involved with me (with the $$$ problems) tho the kids are actually cute & sweet. I don't get the OPs except I think they are mostly crazy people. Of course, I stay away from the OMs (not the crazy people obviously).