H cut my grass the other day first time in months, a lot of work on a hot day, I appreciated, it said thank you and also felt weird and uncomfortable like you are now.
Me~34 H~38 D6.5
EA/PA-DEC.07
Moved out~Apr.13,08 Sep. Papers~Dec.7,08 No contact order ~Dec.9,08 and again October 13, 2009
You're right kat, a simple thank you for dinner last night will be sufficient
Its hard for me kat, I don't want to be mean to W and I don't want to be nice to her either.
If I'm mean, I give W ammunition to say that's why I left you and if I'm nice I feel like I'm condoning her actions with OM
I just want her to go away and leave me alone.
M45 W41 M10.75 years D9, D6, D6, S5 OM confirmed 12/07 merry christmas to me WAM (Walk Away Mom) 05/31/08 W files for D 07/18/08 Date I'll forgive W for A = never
But you know that you are not condoning her A and deep down so does she. You do this for yourself. You get to maintain your decency and are not rude. You are not leading her on in any way because you haven't shown her any more than politeness.
This has been hard for me too. He won't come home in any way until that nasty band aide falls off, which at this rate may be never. Oh well, can't dwell on that. Get a sitter for the kids, not your W, and just chill. Read a book or watch a movie with us without kids needing Daddy. Really, it will do you a world of good.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
I know she feels guilty, she has so much anger in her right now, around me she is all nice and talkative, making me dinner, cutting grass, doing laundry, once I leave for work, she flips out, yelling at neighbor, "If I don't cut the grass no one will" calling me at work cursing out another driver on the road, or complaining about something.
I don't talk to her at all, unless there is business to deal with. If she calls me I listen but do not speak I just say OK, in the morning before work, she tells me goodbye have a nice day, I just say OK and walk out the door. I'm basically going as dark as I can.
Was rough this morning saying thank you for dinner last night, because once I engage her in a conversation, she keeps it going, "Yes it was good wasn't it, I tried a new way of cooking etc, etc, etc, etc." I just kept walking to the car and left for work
M45 W41 M10.75 years D9, D6, D6, S5 OM confirmed 12/07 merry christmas to me WAM (Walk Away Mom) 05/31/08 W files for D 07/18/08 Date I'll forgive W for A = never
Maybe, hopefully a little reality is setting in with her. School starting might be the straw that breaks her back. Let's hope so anyway. Regardless, she has a lot of issues and I don't just mean OM.
Like I have said about my own H, lots of work would need to be done and I would not let him come home at this point. If he stays like he is now, I wouldn't want him. yuck!
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Yep, I think so too--so the aliens have at least one human emotion! (Sorry in a weird mood again after doing D paperwork most of the day!) Karen
Thanks for the laugh karen they really are aliens, maybe I should call the newpapers and TV stations to report a sighting. tell them an alien visits my house every moring at 7:00am
Quote:
kat: Maybe, hopefully a little reality is setting in with her. School starting might be the straw that breaks her back. Let's hope so anyway. Regardless, she has a lot of issues and I don't just mean OM. Like I have said about my own H, lots of work would need to be done
I think the kids going to school will be the final straw and I'm worried, she is going to start pushing to pick kids up from school or something.
My W has a lot of issues other than OM, I don't think I would ever take her back, the thought of OM touching her, the lies, its been going on for longer than I thought, both the lies and OM.
I truly believe I'm better off without her. I'll find someone someday that will treat me right. Gosh, wouldn't that be great
Good night ladies sweet dreams.
M45 W41 M10.75 years D9, D6, D6, S5 OM confirmed 12/07 merry christmas to me WAM (Walk Away Mom) 05/31/08 W files for D 07/18/08 Date I'll forgive W for A = never