I go away for two days and Mike locks his own thread and gets thrown out of Newcomers what the He** is that all about?
Oh well, I will have a Yuengling Lager with a whisky chaser and toast your new found freedom. And if the locks are change your new sleeping arraignments as well.
Well, since the bar is open and I am cleaning house (something I detest!) I will have cranberry margarita on the rocks, with sugar on the rim--easy on the cranberry. Oh, and I don't care what the cost is, can I please have it topshelf--Patron' please.
SMW
M40/H36 T16/M14 4K B2/08 S4/08 current
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. I Corinthians 13:7
Well, since the bar is open and I am cleaning house (something I detest!) I will have cranberry margarita on the rocks, with sugar on the rim--easy on the cranberry. Oh, and I don't care what the cost is, can I please have it topshelf--Patron' please.
SMW
No charge babe..all you lushes from Newcomers..it's on the house. Just for today.
I go away for two days and Mike locks his own thread and gets thrown out of Newcomers what the He** is that all about?
Oh well, I will have a Yuengling Lager with a whisky chaser and toast your new found freedom. And if the locks are change your new sleeping arraignments as well.
None of that southern fire water for me thanks.
Hey Tim..not really thrown out. A buddy gave me his POV about me being over there..and I agreed with him that I should probably lock it up and come over here.
I'll try to explain a bit. I think I'm doing good over there with newcomers. I think my threads over there were probably not the best for a brand new Newbie to read..I think coming onto the site for the first time lots of people are looking for ways to save their M..I mean it's on the top of the site as soon as you find the place in big letters, "save your M". Well this gives you hope. You go to Newcomers and start reading and you see my thread and then see my name sprinkled around other threads and see me referred to in other threads. You then go back to my threads and start reading and you see I don't have much hope..so some people may take that as why try.(I'm real, I'm honest, I don't blow smoke up your ass, I'm to the point) some people are turned off by that. That could scare some Newbies away..those are just a few reasons.
I wanted to stay Tim but know I should be over here. I'll still be over there.
Journaling, Today the coaster came around. I was on for a bit but after a couple of phone calls to friends I got off. Lots of self doubt today. I wonder if I'm normal. I wonder if I'm F'd up.
The thought of starting over again, financially, in a new house...any new relationship scares me. The thoughts of attempting to make new friends in a hometown that I left in 1999 intimidates me. All my single friends that were there are now married and I am a third wheel. I really know no one but family, my coworkers are all married..I'm intimidated by all this newness. While drywalling my new place today I felt lonely, my mom was there but still I was lonely. My thoughts drifted to how and why I git here and it made me sad. I wondered how I had true love in the palm of my hand and pissed it away. I wonder if it was really true love.
I wondered if I would ever be loved again?
I wondered if I was ever truly loved in either my 1st or 2nd M?
I wonder if I really know how love feels..relationship love?
The only love I've ever truly felt is the love of my D..It is pure love. It's a love that's not f'ed up yet.
It's all coulda, woulda, shoulda and it sucks out the arse.
So as you can see, lots of questions. Lots of self doubt.
I've been here before and it sucked. I can remember it, the loneliness still haunts me..
I know where I'm going, just don't know when I'll get there.
It's hard for me to believe in me right now. I wish I had more self confidence, I wish I was a better communicator. I wish I was outgoing and able to just start up a conversation.
