Mine reconnected with the kids first after about 9 mos of not giving a flip about them. It was gradual but noticeable and she has now reached the point of telling me how bad she misses them when I have them.
This need to reconnect with kids may be different in intensity and timeframe between mothers and fathers. That would make sense.
Try to disconnect your emotions. Act "as if" and let him have them whenever he wants. I think one impediment in your sitch was that he saw you and the kids as a package deal. Sounds like he couldn't see them without you being around. That may have prevented him from connecting earlier and caused resentment on his part for you.
Let him have them whenever he wants. Let him see what he is missing. Recently my X asked if she could have the kids when it wasn't her time to have them. I asked, "Have I ever denied you your children?" Her response was, "no." A vast improvement for the man who was previously the source of all the evils in her life.
This is all good no matter how you look at it. It could lead to you H being back in the lives of your children or even back in your life to some degree.
It's a win/win sitch.
Last edited by sleeper; 07/31/0801:40 AM.
"The answers are within you" (can't remember who). Unfortunately, so is the bullshit.
