If I took stab in the dark, me not renovating the house was at the core of our problems although it wasn't the only thing. (Lan not renovating the house shows he doesn't care).
Lan, I had a similar experience, tho' I wouldn't say its at the core of your problems. The communication pattern is closer to the core; its really like an onion you peel from the outside to get at the core; you've made a lot of progress my friend. I agree w/ Sandi that W needs to be in on that lump; let her play nurse.
