losing sunshine but gaining happiness either way

[LosingSunshine]

Hey LFW, Thanks for stopping by. I really appreciate it.

Excellent job on the DB'ing. Realize that YOU got the Birthday all setup without your wife's intervention. Getting stronger and moving on...love it. Been there and done it also.

And it was fun doing this to ensure my daughters happiness or her birthday

Lawyer stuff-Definitely listen to Forrest and the other pros. I agree that the lawyers have nobody's best interest in mind other than their wallets. A suggestion to be passed by the pro's-Maybe it is a good time to discuss with your wife that once it goes to court neither of you are really controlling the show anymore and what happens is being driven by your lawyers in the eyes of the law. It is the cold truth of the fact that neither you or your wives wishes will probably come to fruition once it goes to court and things will get nasty..but it is the business of lawyers to do it that way..

I agree with your statement about lawyers as well. I have already mentioned to her that it is our best interest to work this out and it's in the lawyers best interest to fight it out. She wasn't in a good mood I guess as she felt I was being manipulative. Last night went very well. Tonight should go well too and will bring it up again. The problem is she has no idea what the legal process entails and probably doesn't trust me much right now, since I'm the adversary

The Wife-You are doing excellent and great break through on the chat the other night. I am sorry that you don't have more time, but the future is still possible. The small things are going to make all the difference. Getting the pizza she liked is huge. You heard her say she liked a certain type of pizza and delivered it without her asking. You went totally against your normal behavior...in her eyes...and did great. It is the small hand touch, the pizza, the little things which you had stopped doing prior to this that will really make her reopen her eyes. You are battling on a new emotional level for you and starting to get it...and realize the best defense against manipulative emotional tactics is true emotional tactics. Don't play the OW's game..just understand how /that it is getting played.

Thanks! These have been the first few talks in a long time (actually in a week or so but felt like a long time) and did my best DB'ing to date. And you are right, this is on a new level for me. Just wish I had a little more time.

I gotta go pick up the kiddies at daycare. I'll pop back on later tonight and write a little more. Busy day at the office for the first time this week.

Chris