4kids, Thanks for the link--there are some helpful ideas on there. I have some books on forgiveness that I'm trying to find the time to read. I know this is something I need to do FOR ME, but I'm not to the point of being able to do it yet. I am still bitter and angry and resentful, although I did finally manage to set aside the fantasy of doing a Lorena Bobbitt or killing one or more of the three of us (myself, H, OW). I never mentioned my fantasies to H; I was always polite and as cheerful as I could stand to be, but for a few months after the bomb, he would periodically ask me if I was going to kill him in his sleep, as I had talked to other people about my intense rage and they were expressing concern to him about his continued viability! I stopped talking to the people I suspected about this stuff because I knew they would betray me to him.
None of these ideas about forgiveness are exactly new to me, but it helps to see them nevertheless. Thanks so much!
Peace, Dawn
Me 45/H 47, no kids Together since 1985; M/1992 Bomb1 (EA-OW1, age 22) 2001 Bomb2 (EA/PA-OW2, age 22) 10/2007, A continues H left 11/24/08 minimal contact, no legal action http://tinyurl.com/DawnHope1
