Is this a positive, or is she just trying to do something for the future for the kids?
Yes and yes. I'm learning more and more that things don't have to be binary. I was talking to a friend last night who told me that he knew a couple that was reasonably happily married, but, they had different addresses. It takes all kinds.
So, it's been a long time since you've even had interaction. I take that you are having interaction as a positive. That it is dinner and with the kids I take as an extreme positive.
I would also suggest that as you get ready for dinner, think of some 180s that are subtle. If you are normally a jeans and t-shirt guy, you could wear a nice shirt. If you normally get a burger, get a salad or a turkey sandwich. If you normally get a beer, get a lemonade. Or vice-versa.
I've screwed up a bunch since, but, a few weeks back, we did the dinner as a family thing and just to switch things up a bit, I got a beer and a turkey sandwich instead of the usual burger and lemonade. I was gentle and spoke softly to the kids which is a point of contention between us right now that I'm am madly working on. Then, when the waitress didn't offer her name, I asked and made pleasant conversation with her when she came by to help us. All of these things were different that I would have done previously. These combined with a few other things when she came back to the house, I know threw her a little. Like I said, I've really screwed the pooch since then, but, I can't forget how this did have an effect on her. We will be getting together on Friday for my son's last gymnastics meet. This time, I'm going to remember to bring the camcorder and really get into things as in the past I've been so focused on her and not so much on the kids.
So, you have a golden opportunity to show her that you recognize the things that she's been saying and that you are changing and becoming a new man.
I hope my explanations make sense. Perhaps some of the other folks can chime in.
I'm excited for you and I hope that things go well.
