The A is not the cause of your family's problems - it is just one symptom. If OW told H they were done and she never wanted to see him again - that still is a LONG ways from your own R being repaired. The source of the problems is H himself - don't lose sight of that.
Rob, I agree with that mostly, but the only thing is I think that the A tends to be a major distraction that prevents the WAS from working on the marriage and just giving up and walking away. My H did tell me at one point that if it wasn't for the OW that he would have tried counseling and working on the M. Of course, it still might not have worked out, but I do think the OW and his addiction to her has prevented H from even trying to work on the marriage.
I think if a lot of the As ended that the WAS would start looking around, come out of the fog a bit, and realize they are being crazy and/or idiots or whatever. To use your icky bandaid analogy, once it falls off or is gone then the WAS realizes they have a scratch or problem or whatever they need to work on and the icky bandaid didn't help or if anything made things worse? (Love that analogy btw--thanks for that!) Karen
Karen
