Trust, Expectations, Tape Recorders, Ropes, Whales

[SillyOldBear]

Right, and it works both ways. She's building up a tape record on you, too.

So I am assuming you are realizing that your wife's negative comments and rejection over the years have made all those taped messages in your mind and you are having to do a lot of work to do the tape-overs. Is that where you are headed?

Yeah, that's one thing I've been trying to do. Unfortunately, my wife has never had the Nurtured Heart training.
It's the way someone can make a genuine effort to do something positive, and yet you find yourself unable to believe in it at all, that's most insidious. And I'm a defensive person . . . and an argumentative person, truth be told. . . by nature anyway.

Dude, you're brilliant. Seriously, this is not a fake comment to an NH kid. You really are brilliant.

Well, I'm observant and analytical, which are often mistaken for brilliance. The problem, as you tried to tell me, is that observation and analysis can take the place of things you should be doing instead. I'm the nerdy scientist in every action movie who's standing in the path of the monster muttering "Fascinating . . ." and has to be reminded that it's time to run or fight or do something.