on the one hand, your H has a semi-reason to be concerned. on the other hand, the timing of this, says that he' might being petty from you asking him to do things, and is looking for a way to feel more "in control" again. ie: put you into an "inferior/penitant" position, to get back at you.
It can be tough to find a balance between showing him that you are trustworthy now... and not letting him just go way overboard about it.
Having been in his place, but where unlike you, my wife had actually resumed messing around behind my back online (but claiming she wasnt doing anything), I can say that it would not be right for you to take the stance of, "Well, i'm NOT DOING ANYTHING, so just TRUST ME!"
He doesnt "know" that you arent doing anything. And if you were a different person, you might actually BE doing something. It's tough for both of you. It's tough for you, to be accused of this. It's also really, really tough for him to not feel secure about you.
As difficult for it is for you.... you have no idea how horrible it can be from his side. "torture" would be an accurate word.
I'm not sure I have a "good" solution for this to you, but I have suggestions... perhaps you could first of all, do whatever you can to show him that when and how you use the computer is 'safe'.... Then beyond that, maybe accept that, because you cant "prove" that everything you do is safe, you're forcing him to trust you... and so be understanding, within limits
Be understanding that he could be worried, and scared, and flinching, and be reassuring... but dont accept negative treatment of you because of it.
My view is: Fair reactions from him: Expressions that he doesnt fully trust you, that he's worried, withdrawing from you a bit.
UNfair reactions from him: " I dont trust you, so I'm going to call you nasty names, and/or make you be a personal slave to me, and I'm not going to do anything nice for you back."
It's a really, really tough balance to find. I think that both people have to be willing to put up with some amount of "hurt", to heal.
Condensed advice: Keep reaching out to him. Be nice to him (but still expect him to help). and he should get over this time. Patience, and Love, are the keys, to healing just about anything. Even full blown affairs.
My current status: june 2006. Wife ran out and filed D. Finalized Jan 11, 2010, after 12.5 years M. 3 wonderful sons caught in the middle
