Mulesqb - Still alive and Kickin'

[mulesqb]

Hey Bill - I am in total agreement on the mental health. Just don't know what to do about it but am afraid I could lose my marriage if I don't figure something out.

When I have brought up her therapist (which has only been 2 or 3x) she has said that it is personal. So i stay out of it. Today she was talking about being sad - So I asked her how her therapist was tackling it - she told me that she hadn't discussed it with her yet. I was floored!! She asked me 3 weeks ago to be patient about making any changes in our life while she was working on this stuff. Turns out it's not even a topic of discussion yet.

There is no question in my mind if I was included in her therapy it would help her therapist tremendously. Originally we were going to MC together. When we started to make progress our MC was starting to dive into my W's depression. My W got angry and never came back. The MC later told me that she was trying to get my W comfortable enough to recommend a psychiatrist and an endocrinologist for her. She said that she doubts my W would give the complete story to another therapist without me there. She's avoiding the real issues.

I see a lot of similarities in my W to the sitch you describe with your ex. It scares me tremendously. Our MC thinks our sitch has hope if my W gets the actual help she needs.

I think my W is getting similar advice about being this person she always wanted to be.That she should do it. How can a therapist encourage someone to basically stop parenting???? It's mind boggling.

She seems to cycle on the scapegoat also. Now she harps on the boys - but it's also been me and her parents. I also think she is about to change her job for the 3rd time in 4 months.

Thanks for the thoughts - how would you approach her about getting involved in the therapy? I can't imagine she would agree to it.