I continue to believe that there are mental health issues at work with your wife Mules.

Would your wife be open to you speaking with her therapist if you assured her that your therapist would not share anything that she and your wife have talked about?

Don't you think it would help her therapist to help HER if she knew what YOUR perspective was on the changes in your wife?

I know this would be a very delicate thing to pull off, and I don't in anyway want this to be an arguing point between the two of you. Perhaps you could suggest to her that you truly want her to receive help from her therapy and that you would be willing to speak to her therapist simply about YOUR perspective on things at home. Just to provide the therapist with a more complete picture of what things are like.

Of course her therapist would have to agree as well.

My ex was immediately put in contact with a Psychiatrist after her failed suicide attempt and a week in inpatient care. That psychiatrist never had a conversation with the woman that I know of as my wife for over 20 years. He met a completely different person and had no way of knowing that she had changed in many fundamental ways.

He saw a woman who was tired of being married, who felt alienated from her husband, and who had no desire to be married to him anymore. He received the story that our marriage had always been bad, that we had never been happy, and he knew no differently.

His advice to her was that she had waited long enough to be happy. That if divorcing would bring her peace and happiness, then she should do what she felt she needed to do.

And there was nothing I could do about it.

In the end, your wife is cycling again. And that's how this thing seems to go in many cases. The most troubling part to me is that she has made the boys the scapegoat. Interesting that it's not you, as it is in so many of the situations on this board.

You don't get to decide to give up your children, and you don't get the option to quit on them if parenting is too rough for you to handle. And yet it really seems as though THAT is the answer she is pushing for. And THAT is what really convinces me that there is a psychosis of some kind at work here.


Sorry the ride is currently rough.


Blessings,

Bill

"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon."