A New Me, just in case you read I picked up on this
" I truly and honestly struggle the most at forgiving OW because for many years she pretended to be my friend. "
I had a similar situation, OW was someone I knew and worked at same place-kind of.
I think she probably was your friend and not just pretending at the time. Your H is/was equally to blame but somehow easier to forgive because you want him to come home -not sure how that works when your D'ed but it is probably the truth that this woman will never ever be your friend again, so less need/desire to forgive her. As I said this could have applied to me too.
