Bring on the Rain - Part 4

[Rob1231]

Hi Sue, Hang in there, you're going to be in a better place soon - in more ways than one!

I asked him where he was staying. He doesn't know. He said he might end up going back to IN if he can't find somewhere to go. My heart broke, but I just couldn't get myself to offer my place to him. I just couldn't. I just can't continue to watch his A and our family falling apart.

This comment raised a flag for me. Probably not needed, but I'm gonna say it regardless. The A is not the cause of your family's problems - it is just one symptom. If OW told H they were done and she never wanted to see him again - that still is a LONG ways from your own R being repaired. The source of the problems is H himself - don't lose sight of that.

What am I getting at? Suppose H comes to you in a month and says "I want to make things better and try again. In the meantime, can I move in with you?" I hope you would know the right answer, which is: "NO. FIRST you get your sh!t together - including cleaning up your act with the drinking and the MLC and your job and other women and etc, etc, etc. All that needs to happen BEFORE you get another chance with our sweet Sue." Got it?