Like you did for me, I read through your entire sitch - and can see how far you've come very quickly. How are things going with your W re-writing her memories of the weeks gone by? I noticed that you corrected her - and I wonder if that might backfire a bit. My W does the re-writes constantly - in our last MC she talked about how she's just sick of coming home and arguing all the time - for the life of me I had no idea what she was talking about - since we haven't had an argument in over a six weeks - they just don't happen because I don't take her bait.
Still - when she says things like that at home, I try to validate -because to her, those memories are real. Only in MC do I give my side of a story, etc, and then let it be the T's job to point out how we are seeing the same thing differently - and lately - the T has been pointing out how my W sees everything through very dark glasses. The lesson I learned was to let the T say a lot of the tough stuff - all I do is go in there and open up as honestly as I can - I don't accuse my W - don't judge her - don't even doubt her - I just say my point of view - and let the T do her work - it seems to sink in more with my W that way. Were the criticism to come from me, I think she would just reject it flat out.
I'm not glad you're here Ken - how could anyone be happy to have another person arrive at this site, this place - but I am glad that you're sharing your experiences with us - and stepping in to share your thoughts. I appreciate your input and reality check on my sitch.
