This week W and I had a few nice conversations on the phone. She was out of town with the kids. I told her I missed being there and spending time there. She questioned whether or not that was true. This led into a little R talk. I got the normal excuses...'I need someone with the same energy as me, you never called me from work trips, we didnt communicate, I couldnt tell you everything, I need someone thats my best friend, you are a great father, I want to be friends, were just not right for each other,etc, etc..'
So, I actually thought the conversation was decent, only because we talked. We hadnt really talked for a long time, and we talked for quite awhile. She cried during our conversation. I was honest, didnt beg for her to come back, but did let her know how important she is to me. I had told her that over the time of the separation, I had discovered how I really felt about her. That I was over the anger of her leaving and what she meant to me. I also told her that I knew it had nothing to do with me and it was up to her to figure out if we were worth fighting for, but if we did, our future would be much different as I know have put together what her needs are.
Then, she had been talking about us going out to dinner with the kids. It sounds like my kids were no too keen on this idea, so I asked her to a movie. She balked at first, but then said it would be a 'good start' for us. Below is some of the banter from her...
'Oh...just got your txt this morning (I wrote this last night)...I am not sure you and I going out is the best thing. I would have dinner with you and the kids but I mentioned that to Hailey and I don't think she liked the idea. Maybe we could show her that we can get along? I don't want to talk about "us". I would like to be friends and I think that is a good place to start. There has been a lot of mud slinging between us and it has been hurtful - to both of us, I am sure. Showing the kids we can get along and be friendly is a huge priority to me...and I also want them to know that they can see and be with you at any time. I agree...you are a great dad and have shown that you can be with the kids on your own...thank you. Good luck today.'
next msg; 'Ok...I have no idea what is out except Batman...'
next msg; 'OK...I really don't think this is a good idea. I know you want to work on us and I don't want to send the wrong message to you. I want to be friends. It will be way more productive for us in managing the kids in the future. I just don't want to give you the wrong idea.
Let me know if you want to take the kids to dinner. Thanks...'
So, my reply was that us spending time together alone is part of rebuilding our friendship and that we could start there. I would like to go to a movie, it would be casual, and a lesser chance of us getting into an R talk. If we can become friends then we can talk about next stage.
I'm sure I broke another million DB rules. But, I figure nothing is happening the way things have been the past couple months, I might as well try something. I felt by her accepting to go to a movie and her willingness to rebuild our friendship, I felt like she was maybe making a move to 'trying'. But I sort of expected her to pull back a bit, which she did. I dont really want to spend time together with her as a family, I'd like to hang out with her alone if possible.
