Feeling Hopeless...

[ann25]

just when i think things might be getting better...

yesterday at work, the people i work with got together and got a gift card for my family to say congratulations for the new baby.

I called H and told him and asked if he'd like to get out tonight. that maybe we'd all get out and go to the store. He said that the girls have been really good considering the move and not really having all their stuff unpacked yet, so maybe we could get them a little something. After work, i drove for about 3 hours before i got home. to the bank, pay the old mortgage, pick up our doggie to being her to the new house, then back home. We went out when i got home, picked up some dinner and walked around the store. It was nice.

We got home and H went to go play basketball with some friends (i was really glad to see this as it's been a long time since he's gone out and done something fun with friends). While he was gone (for about an hour) i put the girls to bed, fed the baby and put the girls to bed again... they didn't want to stay in bed last night. I was going to try to do some unpacking, but didn't get to it.

When H got home, he got on the computer and after a few minutes, he asked if i had been on the computer. i told him not yet, but i did have some homework that i needed to do later. He said that someone was one it. I asked him why anyon would use it. He said he didn't think anyone else did. That comment didn't sink in...

later he asked me "are you sure you weren't on here, don't lie to me"
Me - "i'm not lying. I have no reason to, i wasn't on the computer."
H - "well, someone was"
Me - "I'm sure we can find out who in the morning, we can ask them"
H - yeah. (sarcasticly)
later...
H - "are you sure you weren't on here"
Me - "Yes, i'm sure. I was going to get on to do my homework, but i didn't get a chance cause the girls kept getting up and i had to feed the baby"
H - "well, i asked D4 about it and she said you were"
Me - "she was probably just confused because i told her i needed to do my homework and couldn't cause she kept getting out of bed"
H - "No, she said you were on the computer"
Me - "you know how she is, 5 minutes ago may as well be a week ago when she describes it. Everything with her is either yesterday or earlier"
H - "that's fine. It's not like you'd tell me anyways. i guess i'll just wait til you screw me over again"
Me - completely shocked... i didn't know what to say, so i just told him that's not going to happen.

later he asked if i checked his email and i told him yes, while i was at work cause i was waiting on an email from the phone company. he got an email from my best friends H and i the email does the automatic preview thing, so it looked like i had read it. He said that the last time he checked his email that it was new and i said that i must have checked it right after that then.
h - No, it was new.
me - it seems like you are just looking for a way to say i'm lying.
H - i don't have to look for it.
me - i have no reason to lie to you.
H - it's not like you'd tell me anyways.

I got online later to do some homework and i came here and posted to someone and then went to bed...

good news - baby finally slept through the night... bad news - i couldn't...

this morning, H won't answer my phone calls and wouldn't say goodbye.

I don't know what to do...

ann