Just journalling a bit here about our weekend and other things. Started badly H was not in a good mood had a tough week at work and admitted later that he had been v. nervous about attending dive club in case OW was there and a scene would be caused. Told me he was sweating and shaking all day. At least he is clear that he doesn't want to see her again.
Had an argument about our plans for the next couple of weekends. Apparently I just ride rough shod over whatever he wants to do and we have to do everything I want. he had plans to take S(4) and friend to Legoland on Sunday, while I had plans to have friends over for lunch. Plans which he should have know about since I did tell him more than once.
He also had not discussed the legoland plan with S friend's parents
We ended on Friday night with me agreeing to scratch lunch plans, AND scratch party plans for S's birthday (same weekend as wedding of a friend he knows from dive club).
Next morning I woke up with a new solution and suggested that we have S party on his actual birthday instead of weekend, and that H take S and friend to legoland that same day. That way we can do the lunch thing and move rather than cancel the party so we can do wedding. H agrees good solution.
This leaves us with a great deal of work to do in finishing tidying house after decorators so we can look respectable for lunch party.
Lunch party goes well, however friends we invited have only recently heard of our problems and emotionally not ready to forgive H for affair. Taught me a DB lesson, not to involve anyone who doesn't already know about what happened.
End of evening H comes on to me as I have flimsy nightie on. (Other one in wash - LOL). I'm not too sure but flirt a bit in a kind of you'll have to chase me first way - also tease that he is too drunk. H suddenly snaps out of flirtatious mood and is bitter. Tells me he has wasted entire weekend that I don't appreciate him and friends don't appreciate him. I insist I do appreciate him (uh oh!) to which he of course he replies not to contradict him. So I say sorry he feels unappreciated. Then I explain I wasn't refusing his advances but just felt like being chased a bit. Bad mood lifts and he proceeds to chase me round the house before catching me .....
Monday night H comes home after kids are in bed and we practice our salsa dancing ready for tonights class. Goes wrong when I try to explain the steps. What can I do, I know I must not be controlling or critical and I know that men are supposed to lead when dancing but when you are both learning something and one of you can remember what the teacher said and the other one can't what do you do!!! Do I just completely forget about the fact that he is doing it wrong, ignore him and let him lead even though we are stepping over each other's toes?!?!
Feeling frustrated
Fran
if we can be sufficient to ourselves, we need fear no entangling webs Erica Jong
At least he is clear that he doesn't want to see her again.
