Browsing through your posts, since 2003 it appears that your passive unquestioning focus on something else, yoga , pillates, dancing , poetry, career, her smoking,etc. when she is sleeping with someone is not working.
Though you have many problems in your marriage, since the beginning she has been voicing and acting out that she needs more sex and you always seem to find another obscure area to focus on as the root of the problem. While sex may not have solved your issues, her frustration may have been culled enough to focus on other areas. When you want sex that's all you can focus on.
