It's a foggy day here in town. Hopefully it's not a sign of how my W wil be acting today, LOL!
I just posted this saying on Jandn's thread. It's been on my whiteboard in my office for over a year and it wasn't until week 2 of my sitch with W that it finally clicked that I can apply it to the sitch.
"THERE ARE NO CHALLENGES ONLY OPPORTUNITIES FOR SOLUTIONS"
SO, late last night I posted some tidbits from yesterday evening. All in all it wasn't a bad evening. Could have been better and could have been a lot worse. We had pizza for dinner and I had picked up the chicken artichoke pizza that W really likes. She was appreciative of my thoughtfulness. Conversation was good throughout the evening although there was constant interruption via txt and phone from her friend although I think it was OW.
Speaking of friends and OW...a friend of mine (family friend and coworker - her husband is a buddy of mine) is having to go from dept to dept at work and sit with folks to somewhat learn the process/audit to be able to apply the information to their job. Well, as luck will have it, my friend (who is fully aware of sitch) and her boss have a side-by-side with OW next week. LOL! OW is scared. My friend is scared. I can't wait to hear the details of that day, LOL! I told my friend to just act as if.
The big discussion last night was about transitioning the kids into what will become our shared parenting lifestyle. I finally got the W to understand that my thoughts on this are not what I want but are truly focused on how not to screw up the kids. We need to smoothly transition the kids into this lifestyle and it will take a month or longer. So, the plan is they will stay with her this Saturday and she'll have them home Sunday 9am. Then next week, she'll pick them up from daycare midweek and keep them for a few days. The following week she's in denver and she'll have them the night of 8/14 (heck, the hearing that's day, too funny). I'll get them 8/15 and me and the kids leave 8/16 for OBX. We return late on 8/25 and they'll stay with me 8/26 and she'll have them for a few days thereafter.
Not what I want. I don't want the kids to leave but I would rather have something that we both are comfortable with and agree to then her getting flustered and doing something stupid. After all, in the end, there will be some type of shared arrangement and would rather the kids not have the crap shocked out of them.
I still can't believe that she did not get my daughter a birthday gift. She has been so focused on other things, and now getting out of the house that she forgot something like that. Amazing.
So this morning went pretty well. We both slept in a tad but I got up before her, got my 4d ready and took a shower. By the time I got out, she had the chicken in the crockpot, and my son up. I got the kids to eat their breakfast and finished getting them ready. She had put the trash out in the garage and as I was loading the car up, I put the bag in the can and noticed an empty wine bottle. Must have been one from Saturday night that I didn't notice. Another note.
Tonight we get to talk about the shared parenting stuff. I posted some of the guidelines last night. It's unfortunate that her L is being stubborn and will push this to the hearing, as it is their usual tactic. However, I should be signing my counterclaim today or tomorrow which will basically say that I have been the primary custodian and care provider and we have proof. That should bring them to the table quickly I hope.
Some positive signs last night: there was a casual touch by her which was odd (I wasn't expecting it) and many appreciative statements from her to me. She didn't get angry when she came inside after talking with friend/OW and learned I gave the kids a bath.
Well, 2 more nights with W in the house. Going to read some threads tonight to get some ideas about DB'ing when W isn't around. I do feel that with her absence, communication will decrease obviously and the result of that will be a decrease in any anxiety I get since the anxiety is usually a result of some of the talks.
I also need to figure out how to explain to the kids Friday evening why the couch, chairs and tv are missing from the upstairs living room, and the kitchen table is missing. Should be fun. Going to have some friends come over Friday after W leaves to help set up the antique table I have in the kitchen (matches the china cabinet and buffet that is already up - inherited, no touchy W). I won't move any of the living room furniture from the downstairs family room upstairs as I will probably just purchase some new stuff in the coming weeks.
Chris
Me 34 W 33 D 4 S 2 M 5 T 8 Bomb 6/17/08 Served 7/17/08 I hate Tuesdays! Current Thread
