For the Guy with Kids and a WW 8

[hopeful4her]

Thanks Suga momma.

I would rather hear the harsh truth than have someone think something and because they are afraid to hurt my feelings, not tell me what I desperately NEED to hear.

I've always believed this. Except in the case of roomie. We BOTH held back things just to keep from hurting each other. We still do. A marriage can only take so much of that. Yeah, some things you can hold back on, but others....it takes a toll later on down the road. It did for us.

The flip side, because of the addiction, it may not have mattered.

That was my point. If we could go back and change what we did or didn't do, we still don't know if it would have helped our sitch. It's more for us than changing our sitch.

Go to the things that you WANT to go to, that will be fun and good for your kids and you. I go to all of DS's sports because I love to watch my son play. You couldn't keep me away. DD's too.

Yeah, thats is definately a given. We both have attended all the kids sporting events or school events together. Roomie is THE loudest one out there. Really. The kids get embarrassed. I get embarrassed. People look at her. Now I'll be able to truly say, "I'm not with her. No, really."

I guess I meant stuff that is inconsequential. Like the going to work out. She put forth the effort to ask me. I just don't feel like doing ANYTHING with her right now. Of course, thats right now. I did accept initially. I just changed my mind because I didn't feel well. I was going to tell her that how I was feeling, but I didn't. I didn't want her to think I was trying to play a sympathy card or something.

(((H4H))) This just sucks so damn much and I'm so sorry you and your kids have to go through this.

You said a mouthfull. Hugs right back 'atcha.


I'm really tired this morning. I came in extra early again. I HAD to today. I left while her alarm was going off. It had been for about 10 minutes already. She kept getting up last night. I am a light sleeper, so every damn wakes me up. Turn on lights, go outside. Come back in. She's gonna feel it today. I even have bags under my eyes.

They all got back last night. I still didn't feel well. D's come and lay with me on the bed. While D's are there, I make one last attempt to settle my heart. D's just watch. It works and they keep making sure I'm ok. I assure D11. I tell her to try it. I explain that it almost feels like your drowning. Gasping for air afterward. Then a rush and the heart beat settles down. I can't tell you how weird it feels. Okay, now I feel like doing something.

Roomie follows . I ask if they want to go to Spectrum again tomorrow(today) too. Now I want to go. I feel much better. I get an enthusiastic "I guess" from the D's. Roomie says to D6, "Are going to work out with us first this time?"
She says yes. So I guess we'll all go back today after work.

Roomie starts to talk a little to me. The little dog, Mo, is in heat. Again. She's the momma of the puppies. I keep having to chase off dogs. She saw that I took out my BB gun. She puts it away. I tell her "I'm not trying to kill it, just put a little pain in its butt."
"Well, don't leave it out. I don't want the girls to get it."

See! I told ya'll she has some parenting skills still.
She corrected my bad.

Even D11 agrees. "Yeah, that dog is even bugging me, dad."
"Wow, and your Mrs Doctor Doolittle" I tell her. We laugh.

D11 asks to sleep with me. I defer it and get her to her bed. She reluctantly goes. D6 too. As D6 is walking out, roomie goes to the closet to put some shoes on.
"Where you going, momma?"
"Outside for a minute."
"Your gonna smoke. I'm going with you."
"No your not! I don't need anyone watching what I do."

Okay, a step back for her parenting.

I get D's to bed and kisses goodnight. I get to bed. Nothing else from roomie.

Today, I feel like some Scorpions. Lovedrive. The maybe some Audioslave. The first one.

I accidently left my cell at home charging. She'll see it. Wonder if she'll bring it with her and see if I want it later.