I agree with what SC just told you. I do not believe in using sex as a reward/punishment tool (or whatever word would serve better here), but if a H looks at is as "getthing any tonight" I think he is either very crude or he simply wants the sex act and he is not thinking about the intimacy. It would be extrememly hard for me to want to have sex with a man that I have had to play "mother" to all evening......know what I mean? What's attractive about that? If you have to act like a mother....you feel like a mother....and when bedtime comes....you feel as though you would be trying to sleep with your son, and that is a pretty hard thing to overcome. However, a lot of men do have to be taught and I really like smartcookie's illustration. My H used to get upset with me on the when I would work myself down so hard during the day or evening, that I would be too exhausted to ML that night. I would be resentful toward him if he had sat on his behind watching TV or even taking a nap and then feel all ready for some action at bedtime. All I was able to do was "crash". So, there is a lot of mental and emotional feelings going on there for the woman. But I really do believe it is how we approach them and say things to them. Like, "Honey, I really need a man's help to get all this done." Or, "Baby, I really want to feel like spending some special time with you, if all these chores can get done in time. If he sats there like a dunce........then he doesn't understand very much at all. You will have a hard time explaining to him that your body cannot hold out to work all day, come in a do all the house chores, cook, take care of babies, etc.....and then be physcially able to ML. Unless he just wants to do it while you sleep.....lol. I thought it was the generation my H was in that grew up seeing their mothers do all the homemaking stuff while the man came home and his work was finished, but apparently, some parent fell down on their job of teaching your H what his responsibilities are if you are going to have children AND work helping bring home a pay check. Oh.....I could really get off on this subject, but it would turn into some real "male bashing".
Got to get ready for work. Have a good day.
Sandi
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
