Completely and utterly devastated--how to cope

[istherehope]

OK I wanted to get advice on the following re. my 3 month planned separation. I know H thinks I am controlling, and I probably am (though honestly with best intentions!), so I am trying really hard not to seem as though I am making all the decisions and pressuring him to do things during this time. However, I am not someone who can easily just "go with the flow". I've put together a 3 month calendar with the times that I will be away for work, the weekends I will be back, and the end date on which I will come back. I really need this structure so that it doesn't seem like a never-ending black hole. Without it I think I would have an even harder time coping than I am now. I think this ending date is the tricky part as I know that on this end date he will want to re-evaluate and doesn't just see it as my homecoming--which is how I tend to see it. In my mind if this 3 months apart does not work, I will personally need to re-evaluate, but this isn't something I need to share with him now, or it will sound like an ultimatum.

Is it a bad idea to share this calendar with him, will it somehow seem as pressure even though it is intended to be helpful and help us to plan? I was hoping that as he started to miss me more, the idea of seeing me on specific dates might make him happy...

Thanks for any advice here!

ITH