My advice...Go buy a cheap laptop and password protect the login. That's what my W does!
Hey SD, nice to hear from you! This is what I intend to do, thanks!
Lovely L, always there for me
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How are you doing?
lodo
It was Joyce Davenport all the way until last night when H arrived to P/U S5 for dinner. He had not seen or talked to S5 since he left on Saturday afternoon. Typically Sat. thru Monday are OW's time.
When he walked in the door he told S5 he wanted to trade his usual Wed. night for Tues.(today) & he would sleepover @ his place.
He has had success b/f w/this & I fell right back in;
Me-You're leaving on Thursday for 10 days & you're choosing to go without seeing S5 for the couple of days b/f you leave? When you're out of town you tell me it's important to talk to S everyday & you insist on it, here you're in town & you're not going to see him?
H- I have to pack, & what difference does a matter of 12 1/2 hours (?) make? This is why we can't do this anymore, the only thing you're good for is guilt. If you wouldn't have a problem w/me living near here, I'd be able to see him more (he lives 4 miles away).
Me-I can't make someone feel guilty, you're going to have to own that by yourself. Live where ever you choose, I've only told you what I'd prefer & how I feel about it. If you decide to do that, you'll have to live w/the consequences, just as I will.
H-OK, fine, start threatening me, why don't you respond to the offer then.
He stopped there & said we need to get together & talk...face to face. I said I've already said everything that I have to say b/f & unless there's something different he has to say, then there is no need to talk. He says he only wants to talk about "The Offer".
I tell him I'll have it looked over while he's gone.
When he came back from dinner I turned down his request to stay w/S5 & watch a program. I told him talking to me the way he was is unacceptable & he can P/U S5 tomorrow, I'll have his things packed & ready, I don't care to engage w/him on anything but S5 any longer.
After thinking about it, what needed to be said at the beginning was; "OK that would be fine." Nothing else. Since he hadn't gotten anything from me, he was probably looking for anything that would spark some sort of response. What's on the "always worked b/f list";
When he walked in the door he told S5 he wanted to trade his usual Wed. night for Tues.(today) & he would sleepover @ his place
. Did he discuss this with you first? if not its a bit sneaky to talk to S about it first , leaves you in a no win situation.
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H- I have to pack, & what difference does a matter of 12 1/2 hours (?) make?
How long does it take to pack ??? LOL
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This is why we can't do this anymore, the only thing you're good for is guilt. If you wouldn't have a problem w/me living near here, I'd be able to see him more (he lives 4 miles away).
This sort of stuff realy is not worth the breath to make the words .
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After thinking about it, what needed to be said at the beginning was; "OK that would be fine."
I am not sure about that , he is still trying to push the boundaries and you are reinforcing them , as long as you remain calm and consistant about what you will expect then its OK.
I don't know about anyone else, but I'm more than a little sick and tired of him hanging "The Offer" offer your head constantly.
"The Offer" -- puhleeze. Where's my signet ring and hot wax???
I'm wondering if you shouldn't formally dispense with "The Offer" once and for all, by telling him -- in writing -- that you reject it, thusly:
To: Husband
Fr: Sunny
Re: "The Offer"
After considering your offer, I wanted to let you know that I reject it. I'll have to get with my attorney to come up with something for you to look at as an alternative.
I'm wondering if you shouldn't formally dispense with "The Offer" once and for all, by telling him -- in writing -- that you reject it, thusly:
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To: Husband
Fr: Sunny
Re: "The Offer"
After considering your offer, I wanted to let you know that I reject it. I'll have to get with my attorney to come up with something for you to look at as an alternative.
I think it's a great idea!
Should I do it b/f he leaves on his 10 day trip in a few days? Do it via e-mail?
I definitely do not want to ever sit down w/him to go over what I'll settle for, or was that just a smoke screen to engage me on other things b/f he heads out of town?
It's like hearing "I don't know, I don't know what to do."
After thinking thru sending a letter about the offer, I think it's best to put that one off for a while. Maybe a general letter from my attorney, which she suggested may be in order last year, but nothing regarding the financial right now.
I'm back to avoiding any contact if I can help it, especially b/f he leaves on Thursday. I had S5 at my mother's house for P/U today, arranged by e-mail. *Wow, if you are reading this H, she commented on how wonderfully charming you were & how you want to spend as much time as possible w/your S.
I'll be out of here when S5 comes home in the morning, so it'll be a short while til he's gone (again).
He's going to Texas for a competition alone, although OW joined him for the last part there last year.
I just don't care if she's going or not....it's not going to consume me. I've let this affairee take up enough space & time already, & I'm now going to block her out. She can keep on thinking the D is in the mail. People who want to get D'd get D'd & he hasn't even filed yet...could happen, but I wouldn't plan my life around it.
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She WANTS to hear you and talk to you...don't GIVE her that. You said she likes communicating with you...so DON'T. (Mark F)
That suits me now....I'm not giving thing's away freely anymore, I don't care how hard the push is.
