you must have sensed my frustration. thank you. this is exactly what I was trying to say. when I left Allie and the kids she did not sit around waiting for me. she was falling apart but she made steps to improve herself and get out of the house and she took classes and made an effort so she wouldnt get stuck. there were days she didnt want to get out of bed and face the world but she was told on this db place to get a life just in case I didnt return. and she listened. and had I not come home she would have survived and she would have been content and happy regardless. and she stood for her marriage and was considered to be a stander.
Thanks for describing exactly what I have been doing ! A lot of the inner soul search has taken place and I'm sure I'm not perfect, but I love who I am now, I do also have times when I wish I didn't have to get up to this horrid thing that happened, but I do and I end up having great days with my kids and friends. I've done some work, which was good for me too and helped me feel good about myself in different ways, earning some of my own money. And to be honest, the GAL has now been going on for a long time ! Even long enough to realize it is not a factor that has made H come back, and I have accepted it and STILL GAL, because I love it and enjoy it all by myself. You know sometimes there isn't more to dig for... I may do things a little differently as I am a different person, but it sounds like your wife did all of the stuff that I have found myself doing the past 2 years...slowly, but surely.
Still think it's a good question.
Love Cinders xxx
"In the depths of my winter, I realized there is within me an invincible summer" Albert Camus
