I don't think it's entirely excuses. There's the fact that OW ended up being a person who would try to get together with a married man. Sure, he was responding, or maybe even initiated - who knows - but she certainly didn't remove herself from the situation, did she?
I think the reason you're not mad yet is, grief comes in stages. You're not to the anger yet. I think you will, in time, maybe. We all deal with things differently. It's okay to feel however you want. It's totally okay to hate the OW, & still love your H. or vice versa.
You are a beautiful amazing giving woman.
Hugs
M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months 4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10 I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
Sometimes I think I need intensive therapy. Today, for example, I am feeling very stressed about my finances and purchasing so many new things and then I start worrying about my h's finances. I'm thinking "oh, poor thing, he might not be able to continue on with his exact lifestyle. Maybe OW should move in to help with finances." WTF kind of f'ed up thinking is that?????? Do I need to be committed?
Be honest.
M: 37 H: 36 Married: Aug 13, 2004 Decision to Divorce: July 20, 2008 Reconciled: September 2008 Current: Ambivalence
You're alright. I have all kinds of crap running through my head-scenarios, scenes(like scenes from a movie)Your mind wanders. We think about the sitch 24/7..
It's time to GAL girl..
Whitewater rafting?? How's the trip planning coming?
Hi ((((Girlie))), people who really need to be committed, don't think they do. So you're fine !!! Hugs
You're just tooooooooooooo nice. Watch that movie with JLo, Enough ! Get pissed ! & smash the stinking box. LOL (teasing sort of)
xoxoxo
M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months 4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10 I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
Hugs