my crazy mess part 5 the saga continues!

[christarn]

Sandi & FG~ I have not forgotten you two....Long, crazy day at work....thought I was going to throw some of the cast of characters off the "springer set" today....where was "steve" when I needed him!! DAMIT!!!

I worked over an hour extra just trying to catch up paper work and other crap that had fallen behind....yuck!! 12 hours more tomorrow then off til monday!!

I have lots of fun GAL stuff planned for the days off...i'm excited.

let's get a plan in motion....I think the med adjustments are kicking in...I'm starting to feel good again! Sleep is getting back to normal....I am not constantly "obsessing" over the sitch....I am feeling better.

The PIA floats in and out of the picture...I think she represents more of a statement to me than anything....I could be way off on that one...just stabbing in the dark there. Currently she is in the picture...along with several others, this I know.

See the psych. dr again first of sept. and have to call to make appt with therapist...she tried calling me friday, but they just posted my schedule for when she had her first available today....see my family md on thurs...she keeps close tabs on me...love her dearly...she is also religious/spiritual and has helped me immensly thru all of this. The catholic (was married in the church) in me has wants so badly to honor my vows; she reminds how forgiving and gracious our God is...and the catholic church for a nominal fee of oh shall we say two grand can make those vows go bye-bye!! My MD, is catholic as well, but her and I have the same view points on the religion as a whole...so it's realllllly cool to talk with her about it.

I think my confidence is built back after the last sting...so i'm good to proceed whenever FG has a plan to put into play. Like I said...I just want the chance to at least work on this....if after the efforts are exhausted, H and I both look at each other and say....hey maybe we separated for a reason...then I will cross the bridge at that time...but something inside of me, is saying don't give up. I told H during last phone call over "poolgate" if he wanted a D that bad...call his lawyer...still haven't heard from mine...so I'm guessing, he doesn't want one as bad as he says....so how to proceed....

i need to go to nite-nite!!

hugs
christa